Here, Rivki Silver shares her thoughts on life, husbands, social constructs, parameters vs restrictions, positive framing and living the life of your dreams! What a woman!
Video:You Choose, “More Choices or Better Choices?” with Rivki Silver of “The Classic”
by Rivka Perlman | Feb 1, 2012 | Blog | 15 comments
When I first started living a Torah life more than 20 years ago, I marveled at how counterintuitive my new freedom was. “Free, white and 21” was a popular expression back then. (Sorry, but it was.) It meant I could do anything I wanted to do. But I found that all it really meant was a greater opportunity to mess up life, to make bad choices that meant very little, and which often ended badly.
Within the loving parameters of a Torah life, I have found — as Rivki points out — that each moment of life is imbued with meaning. Quality choices abound; and there is no empty or meaningless time in the life of a Torah Jew. Nothing “doesn’t matter.” To me, this is the essence of a well-lived life.
Thanks Ruti! This is a great insight. Occasionally, I hear a a whisper of that “free and 21” inside of me and I’m so grateful that instead I get to choose this life where I know that I matter and “freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose.” great to hear from you!
Thank you RivkaMalka, Rivky and Mrs. E, I love this! Around this time of year, with the Parshios and with Pesach around the corner, this idea of freedom and choices is in the air. Out of Egypt and on the way to getting our “syllabus” we were presented with a whole long list of rules and restrictions that seem to inhibit our new found freedom.
As a young child I vividly remember a very special man explaining to me that before a person can become a brilliant concert pianist, he has to dedicate himself to learning the notes. Our “syllabus” or “loving parameters” are the notes we dedicate ourselves to. Guided by our Torah we are indeed able to create a brilliant symphony out of this blessing of life. (This is a good window to look through for ahavas yisroel too. For without any particular instrument our symphony would not sound the same.)
Nice, Sara! And beautifully said. A good reminder that Torah doesn’t need us all to look alike, or act alike, or do the same job, in order to fulfill our role in Hashem’s symphony. We couldn’t do it without each other. And nothing that we accomplish in this world is as profound without the framework of Torah. True freedom is knowing one’s purpose, and having the guidelines and opportunity to fulfill that purpose.
SO true! I can’t – we can.
HI Sara, thanks for your comments. I love them!
Very beautifully expressed. I believe I have read/heard the following analogy from Rabbi Ezriel Tauber. Imagine we were to buy a brand new computer, but we decided we had no need for instructions on how to use it. Maybe I don’t feel like plugging it in. Or I don’t really care what button serves what function. I will use it as I please. I like to be FREE. Rules, guidelines inhibit me. Well obviously the result is a disaster! Had we taken the time to learn the intstructions we could have produced masterpieces with our wonderful multifaceted computer. I imagine the moral is obvious. LIFE is the most precious gift we have and will ever receive. If we really want to maximize the potential of this multifaceted yet time limited gift, we will want to read the instruction manual, our TORAH.
Chaya, Thanks for your comment! That thought adds ahwole new dimension to this idea. Life is a gift!
I loved being a part of this, Rivka Malka! Thanks so much for helping get my deep thinking muscles going. It was a great experience!
Thank you Rivki! PS I read your post on 4 hair covering – hilarious!
More choices or better choices— I go with better choices,
I feel that today we have so many more trivial choices to make and we have become so used to giving them importance.
My goal is to challenge myself daily (and the highest level of this would be to ask yourself this every moment)to ask…”G-d what can i do to be close to you today, what can i do or refrain from doing in order to feel closer to you?” the torah gives us anwers to this, but the answer to the question is personal for everyone at some level. Incorporating this goal into our lives will leave us with less choices as it will eliminate all the trivial choices we previously were fooled that were important, and it will leave us with choices that are of quality and elevate ourselves.
It is easier to live life without thinking, but its so rewarding to think…next time you are doing something just stop and try to think of how you could make it more meaningful– it will make whatever you are doing easier and more fun garuanteed!
so true Jennifer and I remember talking with you the other night about how clear this is becoming to you!
I left this same message at you you tube channel because I wasn’t quite sure which one would get a response from more quickly. Sorry for the duplicate message!
I love all of your tichel wearing videos, thank you for taking so much time and care with all of the instruction! I am having a little problem though, I am noticing that if my bun starts to fall my tichel also wants to fall off or slide. With all the tips you have shared I did not see one on what clip or pins you use to keep your bun up. I understand for modesty reasons not showing you hair but could you please show the clip or pins themselves and give tips please??? Thanks for you time 🙂
Great question Moira! I don’t know how long your hair is but gravity definitely works against you with tichels, so the trick is to have your pony very firmly in place. You may want to buy a clip that’s very long and thin and after you make your pony clip it up with that. the best thing i have found is to use a stocking underneath like I mentioned and don’t be scared to tie the tichel tight. Andreagrinberg.com has much more in depth tichel videos and I would recommend looking through her videos for more info. all the best, Rivka Malka
I loved this…it really made sense, the “more choices or better choices…yeah..that makes great sense..thanks for all the videos..so much support and ideas!